bad ending.. again? omg

ok.. arini ari ke bpe enth praktikal.. i didnt count the days since dat i try my very best to enjoy every moment i had here.. huuhhhh.. oh god... it getting worst.. hmmm nope.. it gettin tougher...

arini aku ingt nk try sumthing new.. ada kelas sivik tngktn 2.. tema 2D. so arini shud plan nk mintak dorang buat drama.bosan rrr asyik suh salin nota. shud mtk dorg duk dlm kumpulan then shud bg each group situasi yg berbeza. they need to find the solution n then express it dengn berlakon..

guess what? huh!! shud xtahu nk kata pe dah.. kelas mmg out of controll. suh buat perbincangn dlm kelas.. ada yg buat ada yg duk menyendeng ngacau kawan2 lain.. mmg panas shud.. rasa cm nk sepak je.. tp arini shud berjaya kawal rasa marah... lgsg x naik tgn.. ( HOOOYEHHH!!!!)


eventhough shud kurg puas hati dengan pe dorg perform arini, tp shud lupa yg actlly dorg dah bg the best.. i totally didnt see that... huhuhuh

for all this time, shud selalu ingt the problems come from them.. but shud lupa nk muhasabah diri,, shud sendiri ada buat salah.. i'm not a good teacher.. shud terlalu mengharap.. huh!! they such a group of amazing kids.. i almost c it.. huh!

CIKGU SAYANG KAMU!!!!!!

bad way to end my day... aka bad ending

huh...

i did sumthing really bad.. they get really nasty and so damn bad with me.. they really got me down on my feet. huh!

aku btul2 mengamuk dalm kelas rini.. sabar jelah.. dek kerana terlalu marah n i really hlg sabar.. aku walk away from the class.. seriously.. aku rasa setakt ni blm lagi ada mana2 cikgu2 praktikal or mana2 cikgu yg tingglkn kelas..

aku terlmpau marah.. hilang sabar.. mask blk guru pas dah cooldown skit aku msk blk kelas tu (kalu ikut hati xnk mask dah.. tp sbb tkt ngn pengetua aku mask gak).. hah!

cite ngn cu n cikgu2 lain.. semua terkejut.. it was really stupid.. seriously.... i need time to get on my feet back...

i was so into with my emo.. mmg sgt2 emo.. nasb baik kak oji memahami.. dia ckp byk2 la bersabar.. kelas tu mmg antara kelas yg mempunyai maslh disiplin...

i saw the faces.. they were really suprise sbb aku blah gtu je.. siap bleh ckp suka hati awak la nk jadik apa.. kalu xnk sy ajar awak p jmpa cikgu lain.. Ya Allah.. aku blh ckp gtu... bertmbh terkejut dorng bila aku mask blk.. hahahahhaahah...

and dat was really bad way to end my day... it is..

note: kak ina: " sabar jelah.. jgn ikut perasaan.. awak 5 bln je nk ngajar.. jgn marh2 sgt" huh!

cerita praktikal...

huhuuhu... mls sungguh sy mengupdate blog ini.. dah ada broadband+wireless di sekolah still rasa mals lagi... hmmmm
ok... currentlly i'm doing my praktikl.. the final requirement b4 i qualify as a teacher.. sy berpraktikal di sekolah menengah kebangsaan tanjong lumpur, kempadang kuantan.. bersama2 huney saya, suhada.. plus the other 6 guys ( ermmm starting next week it will be only 5 of them. 1 is leaving us).. and obviously we the only girls... ( lupe.. next week ada lagi sorg cikgu praktikal UPSI yg bakal menjalni lathn praktikal di SMKTL)... ermmm uhhhh sound funny when sy menulis dlm BI.. kakakakkakakaaka..

ok.. the first 2 weeks septtnya buat ROS.. but wat sy buat cmelah pergi ber"hanimun" di sekolah.. huhuu... right kena struggle la nk siapkan ROS..

sekolah ini mmg unik.. 1stly becz locationnya yg agak tersorok.. so bg sape2 yg matanya x bpe cekap mmg xkn nmpk sekolah ini..

2dly.. bilangn studnts yg sedikt compare to otthers secndary school in kuantan.. cume 850 org shj.. dan sekolah cume dijalnkn 1 sesi shj iaitu pada waktu pg.. (7.30am-2.30pm)....

3rdly... most of the teachers best n slumber.. bnyk cikgu-cikgi yg suke membantu.. (saya suke!!!!!) cume ada sdkt maslh skt la yg sy hdpi first few days kt skolah.. bcoz sy bkn org pantai timur... sy x fhm apa mereka ckp.. huhuhuhu.. cu ckp mke sy sgt stress... hahahaha.. tp skrg sy dah ok..

ok...

last friday dpt jadual.. alhamdullilah overall sy suke kan jadual sy.. but unfortunately x dpt mgajar subjek major.. sy ditugaskn mengajar sains ting 4, sains ting 2 dan sivik tgktan 2.. huhuu.. SAINS? ermmm blh lagilah.. SIVIK!!!!!!!!! omg... i'm lost.. totally no idea nk ajar apa.. huhuuh. not only that... cikgu2 warning sy pasal kelas ting 2 tu.. omg.. mrk pljr nakal... brjayakah muka garang n bengis sy ini membuatkan mereka pth? huhuhuhuhu i dunno...

sy agak excited nk mulakan sesi mengajar but uhuhuuhuh first day dah kena mengajar kelas tingkjatan 2 tu.. huhuhuuhu


SUPERMAN!! DI MANA KAMU?!!!

hilang ke?....

hilang?......
tak hilang pun.. diam je.. sy busy skit spnjg cuti sem ni... ermmmm bnyk hal berlaku spnjg cuti sem ni.. x berapa terasa cutinya.. sedar2 je mgu dpn dah nk bertlak ke kuantan dan memulakan tugas sebgi cikgu praktikal... huhuhuhu.. sy mash blm buat apa2 persediaan.. x ulang kaji pn.. resah tetiba..

terlalu byk kehilngn dalm thn 2009.. sy x mghrpkan gantian kerna sy tahu Allah akn memberi yg lbh baik..

harp2 thn 2010 ini akn membawa bnyk senyuman kpd sy..


MAJU!!!!!

huh!

ini entry penuh amarah dan emosi.. harap maklum n harap maaf..

1) jgn ggu sy bila sy x ggu kamu... gguan itu blh jd dlm pelbgi bntk.. plg sy alergik bile awak berpura2 berlaku baik.. innocent.. teraniaya... sdgkan sblknya berlaku... maka itu telh sy klasifikasikan sbg gguan thp kronik yg secara automatis telh mencetuskan neuron amrh otak sy... tlglah... knp perlu hipokrit? menunjukkan personaliti ayu.. lemah lembut kamu itu sdgkn kamu bkn begitu? siapa yg kamu nk tipu? huh!

2) kfrontasi... diskusi... itu caranya selesaikn masalh.. duduk n berbncang.. bkn men anta2 msg.. sms.. kata kot blkg..so immatured... not my style... (baru2 ni je blja buat gtu.. slhkah?)

3) slhkah aku brtnya? skdr mahukan kepastian... bertnyakan sesuatu yg kurg jelas,,,, slhkah? atau kamu mmg seseorg yg stp perbuatan kamu tidak blh dipersoalkan? jdi kalu x blh dipersoalkan bgtau dpn2.. xyh dpn nk tjk baik.. blkg.... hmmmmm

4) trus trang.. sy juga thu apa kamu katakan ttg sy dan dia.. lame dulu.,,, tp sy endahkan.. mgpa perlu bgkitkan apa yg tlh kamu perkatakan? sy abaikan kerana sy x mahu bermasalah dgn kamu.. tp lihatlh.. kediaman sy dan dia kamu ambl kesempatn.. hanya Allah yg lbh mengetahui.. kami x kisah.. hdp kami bkn kerana kamu semata2..

5) sy jg pnh menyktkan hati ramai org... tnpa sedar dan sedar.. saya mohon maaf.. tp kepda kamu... maafkan sy juga kerana rasanya hati ini blm mahu memafkn kamu... mgkn 1 hari nnt.. ble sy fkr kamu lyk dimaafkan...

-maaf.. sy agak emosi.. sy tdk suka diggu dgn hal2 sbgni.. sy jrg ambl pusing hal2 bgni.. tp kerana sy tlh dicemuh.. dihina dan dimaki.. sy perlu berckp... kerana sy bkn tuli dan buta... sy juga pnya hati... dan sabar... diam sy bkn bererti sy rela diperlakukan begitu... diam sy kerana sy tdk mahu perbesarkn hal2 bgni... sy tahu malu.. sy menjga aib kamu... kamu bgtu kah? fkrlah..... -

-maaf... sy sgt emosi.... (sbtulnya sgt2 marh.) dewasa yg berkelakuan keanak-anakkan.. hahahahahhahahahahhahahaah-

selesai jugak...

yeaH!! akhirnya selesai jgk... alhamdullilah... huhuhu...
baru selesai presnet tesis ari rabu aritu... huh! lega.. biarpn waktu present kena hentam kaw2 biar la.. asl leps sdh... hehhehe... kami dipesan oleh lectrr2 lain.. jgn nangis n be prepared... wow!!

yea.. sy perlu membentangkan tesis sy di hdpn dia... Prof Aro... (Abdul Rahman).. khabarnya dia tu org2 genius dlm malaysia.. bygkan lah apa yg tlh terjadi apbila sy, seorg mahasiswi yg masih terkapai2 atau lbh tpt kurg genius membentgkan tesis dpn org GENIUS apa jd? haahahahaha.. mestilah havoc..

sy setia menunggu dia dihapn makmal seawal kul 8.30 pg lagi.. kul 9.30 dia hadir... aah,,,, gaya beliau mmg x leh blah... sempoi gile... pakai kemeja belang biru, slack hitam n glove.. (mgkn sbb dia baru blk dari obersi kot).. huhuhuhu.. selamba melangkh mask ke dlm mkml.. first impression (wow! selamba gile).. debaran dlm hati ni dah memunck ni... at first dia mmg warm... bg kita perasaan aman n selmt... (sy pasti blh buat, anta sms kat mak "mak dah nk mule ni, doakan k" hhaha.. mak bls "ok2 best!".. )

1st presenter pastu 2nd presenter NEXT saya plak...,
wah!! berdebor nih! huh!.. cuak.... waktu present baru tnjk slide tajuk.. dah kena betulkan dah.. smpi slide abstract, beliau komen " ermmm bahasa awak ni berterabur.. xpelah jap g kita betulkan".. huhuhuhu... ok lagi nih... smpai slide last.. msh selamt..

'ok, back to 1st slide"
"buang ni" "ini xperlu, buang2. xder kena mengena pn ngn research awak" "apa itu MBL?" "bkn thorntorn ngn Sokoloft ke first inventer MBL?" "spe tu Tinker?" "asal mana? U mana?"
huhuhhhuh semua itu membuatkn sy berada dlm state blur amat. nk defend pn dah x berdy,,huhuu tgk jam dah lebh setgh jam ni.. huhuuh bile nk hbs ni? huhuu cptlah. time tu dah x kisah kena marah, kena herdik ke hape ke yg pntg hbs.. sbb sy jns x ksh diherdik oleh itu pa saja dia ckp sy kurg amik hati.. hehehhehe

yg pling x thn skali ialah bila Prof kuar statement "sbnrnya sokoloff n Tornton tu cikgu sy, sy di tauliahkan ke pakistan, india, china for this MBL. u'r talking to the master.. sbb tu bile awak ckp sy tahu mana silapnye. awak nk tgk email sokoloff anta kat sy?." awwww!! bygkan muka terkezut dan muka terkesima sy.. uhuhuhuuhu
ok... kata2 akhir beliau " i hav 2 do this, sy comment je k" ( sy mengomel sendirian " komen prof buat sy terpana" huhuhuu )



akhirnya selesai jgk... allhamdullilah.

pengajaran yyg sy dpt pas present ini:
1) 1st time present sorg2, everything is on me.. kena hentam pn tggg sorg2. dah xder org backup. dat time all i c muke2 member yg tmpg shimpati... huhuhuu ;(
2) byk ilmu baru dpt dari Prof.. even dia agak harsh.. but apa dia ckp betl...
3) pas hbs present baru sya jelas n clear ttg tesis sy,,,, waktu buat mmg blur... hehhehe

neway!! u rock PROF!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHUHUHUHUHUHUH....
(mimpi ngeri selama 3 mlm terbygkan muka dia mengherdik sy) hehehheh

ini beliau...curi2 amik gmbr...

me n myself.. it said

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.